A Balancing Act

Sorry it’s been awhile. I’ve been playing Classic and that took at lot of focus to get up to 60 and geared for raids.

Today has been a truly strange day in my brain. I started on a manic streak a few days ago, so I’m wired like mainlining energy drinks and my thoughts are going 100 miles an hour. But this morning I woke up with a depressive episode, where I had terrible dreams all night, wanted to go back to sleep, and had the stupid “brain sparks” that happen when I get in that phase. (A “brain spark” is like… if you pinch your arm gently, it’s like that kind of “pain” all through my head – but it’s not a physical pain, it’s more neurological. Really fucking annoying, and worse than a headache cuz painkillers don’t work on it.)

I did manage to get out and see the back to work assessment therapist though. We talked about my return to work, and I stressed very strongly that I cannot go back to working in the office full time. I need to be able to work remotely, at least like 60-70% of the time, or “as needed” really. I don’t think the office will go for it, but I’m still going to approach them and try. If not, I’ll have to find something else, unfortunately.

My cats are as adorable as ever. They went out for a bit today again, though of course Rose checked in on me a few times. Managed to get them all back inside quickly with a few shakes of the treat bag. The other night, the grey & white stray cat that’s been mean to them was outside the window, and Rose had a fit. Woke me up in the middle of the night from a dead sleep with a loud screamgrowl, and she wouldn’t settle for a long bit after. Even when she came to lay on the bed with me, anytime she’d hear a noise, like from her sisters moving around, she’d puff up like she was made of cotton candy. It was freaking adorable.

Mom and my aunt leave for Yuma soon, and I have no idea what to get them as Christmas presents. I may end up just finding fun stuff on Amazon and having them ship it to their Yuma place closer to Christmas. Might not be wrapped pretty but it would be something to open, lol.

Also, why do people in online communities have to be so fucking high school? Just because a guy and a girl become close friends does not have to mean they’re in some kind of sexual or romantic relationship. It drives me nuts that these supposed “adults” are so prone to drama, especially when so many claim to be “drama free”. Makes me want to be even more reclusive, away from people not only in real life, but online as well. Cats are better than people.

I have a girl date coming up soon. We’re going to make terrariums. Yes that’s like a pot or bowl with succulents in it. I’m actually stupidly excited about this. Although, also a bit nervous, because like…. going out in public, yuck. I have to figure out what to wear.

Hope you’ve enjoyed this update. More to come another time.

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